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Feb. 22nd, 2013 @ 08:02 am SOAPBOX TIME!
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Spiketail Hatchling
I love seeing things on the Internet that offend me. Every now and then, I see some pompous prat talking about the military and that drives me to LJ for some incendiary action of my own. I'll admit parts of this are infantile, and if you're the type who thinks the U.S. military is the bee's knees, you may as well skip reading this. Otherwise, the original picture on Facebook read thusly:

Oh, you're in the military? That's cool. I wanted to do that when I was a kid. What do you make?" (I always loved this question). What do I make? I make holding your child's hand possible everyday. I make 5 minutes seem like a life time. I make going to war for your freedom a duty that I will die for. I can make sure your children have a future before terrorists attack us. I can help you by spending a year away form my family, while you complain about yours and your job. I make myself get out of bed at 3am (0-dark-30!) to risk my life to save your freedom. Today I might make the ultimate sacrifice to save your life. I make a difference. Now, what do you make? Re-post if you are active duty, retired, or a vet...


That's a faithful transcription, so the grammatical mistakes aren't mine.

Beyond that— this is the bullshit that makes America what it is. It, of course, got a slew of "Likes" and "Shares" on Facebook. But why? The guy's crazy-full of himself. Let's look at this more closely and get the flames of truth blazing on it:

I make holding your child's hand possible everyday. How? This is false. Literally, this makes no sense.

I make 5 minutes seem like a life time. Once again, how?

I make going to war for your freedom a duty that I will die for. Our "freedom" hasn't been in jeopardy from external forces ever. No foreign power has ever threatened to take control over our land, and the only (even remotely) dictatorial powers are our politicians.

I can make sure your children have a future before terrorists attack us. No. The army has proven over and over again that it can't.

I can help you by spending a year away form my family, while you complain about yours and your job. You're not helping me; you're trying to give yourself another sympathy point and then cry about it. Not cool.

I make myself get out of bed at 3am (0-dark-30!) to risk my life to save your freedom. I can get up as early as you like. Whoopdy-doo!

Today I might make the ultimate sacrifice to save your life. Nope. You'll never save my life. No way; no how. Furthermore, I imagine most people would throw down their life in an act of heroism to save somebody else. We just don't need a big, dickish, faceless organization standing behind us patting us on the back when we do it.

I make a difference. A negative difference— you forgot that part. Just a quick Wikipedia search shows that you're not really anywhere useful or doing anything worthwhile while you're there. Essentially, you're killing people, which is always a waste. Any organization that promotes the taking of human life is worse than worthless— they're a collective embarrassment to all of humankind. Worse than that, it's all for political or economical gain. So... yeah. You're making a difference by being the sock-puppet for some suit-wearing jackass in Washington that nobody likes. All of this is at the COLOSSAL expense of the average, hard-working humans that you're trying to "protect".

Now, what do you make? Re-post if you are active duty, retired, or a vet... All this rampant bullshit, and then you turn it into a ploy for Internet popularity. Good work, you low-life sell-out.

Things like this cheese me off to no end. So, here's a picture of a baby elephant playing in some waves.